As the title of this article says we are definitely not advocating this as it does quite noticeably involve wasting police time and there are a plenty of better things that the boys in blue could be doing than dealing unwittingly helping you deal with your revenge plans, but by the same token, when it is this funny it doesn’t mean that we can’t share this tale with you. We are in England this week for the classic tale of boy meets girl…with the usual lack of a fairytale ending…
Young love. It’s so beautifully predictable isn’t it. In this instance a young fella met and fell in love with a girl of about the same age. As so often is the case with these cases you tend to find that now matter how passionate and promising the young love affair is it ended in disaster. Phil’s beautiful young lady cheated on him about 10 months in and the relationship immediately soured and went south. They split up shortly after and a hurt and wounded Phil immediately started plotting his revenge.
As with all stories of vengeance he set about thinking about what he knew about his ex and what would hurt her most. As with a lot of young people exploring their sexuality for the first time they had experimented quite a bit and, over the course of their love affair had accumulated a fairly sizable collection of sex toys and aids designed to stimulate and improve their love making.
As is usually the case, once the relationship had finished these stayed in the hands of the girl, in this instance, securely stashed and hidden from her mother in a box under her bed.
Now, about a fortnight after the breakup on a Saturday morning the girl’s mother was woken up at 7am by a number of uniformed officers with a search warrant to search the house. They marched straight upstairs and kicked the girl straight out of bed.
With her mother stood in the doorway, a look of confusion on her face the lead officer immediately reached under her bed and pulled out a box. “You’re in trouble now young lady” he said before triumphantly reaching into the box and pulling out…and ENORMOUS dildo with the name ‘EXCALIBUR’ printed down the side.
So what exactly had Phil done? Well. Knowing he embarrassment that it would cause for his ex to have her sex life laid bare, by the police in the front of her mother he had made an anonymous phonecall to give the police a tipoff that his ex was dealing drugs and she kept her stash in a box under the bed.
Obviously, the police were always going to act on such information so not only was he going to cause huge confusion with the initial arrival of the police, there was also going to be a very tangible atmosphere long after the policemen had left as a result of the stark nature that his ex’s teenage sex life had been laid bare in front of her. Sex isn’t exactly a topic that anyone particular enjoys discussing with their parents, even on their own terms, so when it is forced on you it is bound to cause an atmosphere!
So there you have it, a pretty complete story of revenge!
As we said, we obviously don’t condone using the emergency services like this, but when it is that amusing and involves policemen grabbing a giant dildo, we can’t help ourselves!