There’s a line in the classic movie “The First Wives Club” that will forever ring true about breakups: “Don’t get mad, get everything.” THIS MEANS PAYBACK!
It’s never fun when an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend breaks your heart. Not only is there the awkwardness of having to tell your friends and family that it’s over, but you’re also incredibly sad and depressed about the whole situation.
You can do a few things, however, to ease your heartbreak. They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but what kind of revenge are we talking about? Eating your feelings surely helps, but the scale unfortunately never lies. You can go full Beyoncé on them and start “lemonading,” but having to replace car windows after you smash them with a baseball bat could get expensive.
So don’t worry, you heartbroken jellyfish. Luckily for you, we have assembled a few different ways for you to have your best revenge on that scrub who broke your heart.
1.) Name a cockroach after your ex
Besides the obvious LOL factor of naming a nasty bug after your ex, last year, the El Paso Zoo would literally feed the cockroach that you named your ex after to a meerkat on Valentine’s Day on a live camera. How perfect!
No word on whether they’ll be doing it again, but we love the energy here.
2.) Or send them a nasty package.
Why not send your Ex some shit, just like them in the post or even a used tampon! It may not be as satisfying as watching a cockroach named Chad get eaten by a meerkat, but this would do, too.
3.) Change your Netflix password
If you’ve been in a long-term relationship, chances are you might have shared a Netflix or Hulu password with your ex. There’s no better way to serve revenge than when they’re ready to watch “The Office” for the millionth time and they can’t get their Michael Scott fix. Burn!
4.) Upgrade your life
Beyoncé once said, “Best revenge is your paper,” and truer words have never been spoken. If your significant other dumped you, then it’s time to upgrade your life! Get your hair done, maybe hit the gym a few times or maybe even apply for a better-paying job. Use your heartbreak to fuel your comeback.
5.) Go public
First of all, you should only go public if your ex cheated on you. If it was just a sad “it’s not you, it’s me” situation, then stick to Facebook, but if this person went behind your back and cheated, then you need to go big or go home, like creating a Website exposing all their dirty secrets. Genius!
And please, comment below if you have any ways that are perfect for getting back at your ex and feel free to browse all our ideas and success stories on the site. We promise you’ll get inspired to take action.