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We Are Not Advocating This…But It Sure Is Funny

December 13, 2012 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

As the title of this article says we are definitely not advocating this as it does quite noticeably involve wasting police time and there are a plenty of better things that the boys in blue could be doing than dealing unwittingly helping you deal with your revenge plans, but by the same token, when it is this funny it doesn’t mean that we can’t share this tale with you. We are in England this week for the classic tale of boy meets girl…with the usual lack of a fairytale ending…

Young love. It’s so beautifully predictable isn’t it. In this instance a young fella met and fell in love with a girl of about the same age. As so often is the case with these cases you tend to find that now matter how passionate and promising the young love affair is it ended in disaster. Phil’s beautiful young lady cheated on him about 10 months in and the relationship immediately soured and went south. They split up shortly after and a hurt and wounded Phil immediately started plotting his revenge.

As with all stories of vengeance he set about thinking about what he knew about his ex and what would hurt her most. As with a lot of young people exploring their sexuality for the first time they had experimented quite a bit and, over the course of their love affair had accumulated a fairly sizable collection of sex toys and aids designed to stimulate and improve their love making.

As is usually the case, once the relationship had finished these stayed in the hands of the girl, in this instance, securely stashed and hidden from her mother in a box under her bed.

Now, about a fortnight after the breakup on a Saturday morning the girl’s mother was woken up at 7am by a number of uniformed officers with a search warrant to search the house. They marched straight upstairs and kicked the girl straight out of bed.

With her mother stood in the doorway, a look of confusion on her face the lead officer immediately reached under her bed and pulled out a box. “You’re in trouble now young lady” he said before triumphantly reaching into the box and pulling out…and ENORMOUS dildo with the name ‘EXCALIBUR’ printed down the side.

So what exactly had Phil done? Well. Knowing he embarrassment that it would cause for his ex to have her sex life laid bare, by the police in the front of her mother he had made an anonymous phonecall to give the police a tipoff that his ex was dealing drugs and she kept her stash in a box under the bed.

Obviously, the police were always going to act on such information so not only was he going to cause huge confusion with the initial arrival of the police, there was also going to be a very tangible atmosphere long after the policemen had left as a result of the stark nature that his ex’s teenage sex life had been laid bare in front of her. Sex isn’t exactly a topic that anyone particular enjoys discussing with their parents, even on their own terms, so when it is forced on you it is bound to cause an atmosphere!

So there you have it, a pretty complete story of revenge!

As we said, we obviously don’t condone using the emergency services like this, but when it is that amusing and involves policemen grabbing a giant dildo, we can’t help ourselves!

Why It Pays To Get Revenge On Your Ex

August 23, 2012 by  
Filed under General Revenge, Revenge On Ex

Let me ask you this question – since breaking up with your ex, how much sleep have you lost?

According to a recent study undertaken by the guys at during the first month following a breakup people tend to lose, on average, a staggering 56 hours of sleep!

And while a few sleepless nights may be considered as just a fact of a breakup, there is a real cost to all of this. A study in the UK by a private health company worked out that each sleepless night costs just over £93 (US$ 143) in lost productivity, missed promotions at work, missed sales targets, days of “sick” etc.

If true, the 56 hours lost in the Revenge survey equates to an average of 12 broken broken nights. Multiply these 12 nights by £93 means that your ex has cost you a whopping £1,116 (US$ 1,716)!!!

So not only has your ex been a complete asshole, but they have cost you money!

On top of that, over 80% of those surveyed said that they spent money on alcohol, comfort food, sleep medication etc. In fact, the average amount spent on these “sleep aids” over the first month was over £150 (US$ 231), bringing the total cost to £1,266 (US$ 1,947).

That’s right – your ex has cost you nearly $2000, just from causing you to lose sleep!!!

Are they worth it?

We think not!

But what is the solution to all of this? Well I think you can guess my answer … it’s revenge!

The survey undertaken by involved 1800 people. 1200 of the study group did not purchase any products from any revenge website, nor did they undertake any actual revenge aside from the fantasy offered by websites. 600 people however, did purchase revenge products.

According to the survey, the average amount spent on revenge was around £46 (US$ 72).

So is getting revenge worth it?

Unsurprisingly, the answer is a resounding “YES” – getting revenge is definitely worth it!

While the 1200 “non revenge” people lost an average of 56 hours sleep, those who undertook revenge lost an average of just 13 hours.


Getting revenge means that you don’t lose 43 hours of sleep … or to put it in financial terms, a saving of £857 (US$ 1,317)

And what’s more, by getting revenge on your ex, your not just saving yourself money, but you are transferring the sleepless nights over to your ex and so you are going to cost them money!!!

With results like this, getting revenge really is worth doing … and the study doesn’t even begin to quantify the “feel good factor”.

So, if you think your ex isn’t worth spending money on, then think again!




Ways To Get Revenge – SMS Spam

Full credit goes to Dan at for this tactic, and yes, I did get his permission before making this post :-)

So what’s it all about?

Well Dan noticed that over the past few weeks the number of spam sms messages he’d been receiving had been on the increase. Not only him, but his friends, family and colleagues had also noted an increase in this annoying personal invasion.

If you’ve never received one of these messages, allow me to elaborate.

They are sent from less than scrupulous marketing companies and contain things like:

  • “Records passed to us show you’re entitled to a refund approximately £2560 in compensation of PPI on your credit card or loan. Reply INFO or Stop”
  • “£2009.34 is outstanding in your name as compensation for the accident you had. To get this ASAP reply CLAIM to this message NOW”

The thing is, these messages are sent from a normal mobile phone number, not a short code and so it’s a “real” number. So, never one to miss the opportunity to try a new revenge idea, Dan decided to reply to one of these messages but using a fake SMS service (as offered by and

The victim that Dan chose was one of his ex’s that he is still on talking terms to (he’s a nice guy really!!!) and basically replied to the message…and then sat back and waited.

A couple weeks later, Dan had the opportunity to catch up with his ex at a mutual friends BBQ, but before he went to the BBQ, he’d set a time-released fake SMS message to his own phone “from” one of these companies.

A few minutes before the SMS was to be sent, Dan struck up a conversation with his ex and when the fake SMS arrived, Dan made a comment about how he keeps getting messages like this and it’s really bugging him (clever, eh?). Well, this is all the encouragement his ex needed to launch into a tirade about how one of these so-called companies had the damn cheek to actually phone her to discuss her claim.

She further ranted that the person who called her was more than aggressive with his sales tactic and even phoned her back once she’d hung up on him! Not content with that, over the following days she received further phone calls from the same company saying that “their colleague has passed on your case details”…basically to an even more annoying salesman.

It was after the 3rd phone call that she started to receive SMS messages from all manner of companies offering her all sorts of offers and promotions. She’d also received more cold-calling calls than ever before, at least 2 or 3 per day!

Being the gentleman that Dan is, he just expressed his sympathy and then turned the conversation around to “apart from that, how are you?” (is he smooooooth or what?!?!).

So Dan’s advice is that if you ever receive a marketing SMS message from a company that asks you to text back to them, then do exactly that, BUT, use a fake SMS service and reply using your enemies phone number and then sit back knowing that your victim will be hounded with sales calls for many weeks, months and maybe years to come!


Getting Revenge Using Classified Ads

January 5, 2012 by  
Filed under General Revenge, Get Revenge At Work, Revenge On Ex

Classified advertisements in your free local newspapers are not very expensive and sometimes free they are a very good way to tarnish your ex’s squeaky clean image. For example, suppose you had a score to settle with the neighbours’ from hell. You could make up a Classified Ad to “sell” their car. Make the price attractive five to 600 hundred dollars/pounds less than market value for that make of car, instruct the prospective buyers to call after midnight (because you work shift work and this is the only time you are about), and explain in the ad that you are emigrating or moving house so quick cash is needed hence the price being bellow market value. This should attract enough interest to bring the calls coming thick and fast.

You could also put your ex’s house up for sale in Classified Ads. The same as before, ask the potential buyers to either call or visit at hours that will be very inconvenient to your ex.

The “personal columns” in your local free paper can also be a great source of fun. Maybe you could place an ad on behalf of your ex to advertise for “young boy and girl models to pose for ‘art’ pictures.” You should use his/her home number or place of work number here for all the inquiry calls, whichever you think would cause more embarrassing for your ex. Personally I would use their bosses number so the calls go to them, then your ex will have some explaining to do to his/her employer.

Placing ads in your local free paper is easy. Most free local papers will let you do it over the phone or online if you are concerned about your privacy you could always download an install Hide My Ip, and from my experiences the ads are very rarely verified. Don’t try to go overboard with the ad make it as realistic as possible. As with any prank, there has to be a credible amount of reality for this to work.

Although this does not fall into the bracket of classified advertisement, the little index-card notices that people put on ad boards in bars, supermarkets and other public places are also great ways to prank your ex. Just about anything you can find in your local free paper you will find on these personal notice boards. But there are also advantages doing this as they are often free, they don’t cost anything the only cost is just your time and effort into preparing the card ad and posting it, also with this free prank you can be a bit more descriptive, and personal than you can with newspaper advertisements. People seem to stop and read these boards as they are normally placed in areas where you can’t miss them, I know from personal experiences that this is really a good and annoying prank and cost nothing just a moment of your time.

5 Ideas For Payback On An Ex

If you are looking to get revenge on, an ex or friend, family member and you have access to their underwear drawer you can have enormous amounts of fun. Let’s begin with these classic ideas.

Payback Idea #1

Get hold of a clean pair you know they will be wearing very soon and then turn them inside out. Get some numbing sports cream or cream for haemorrhoids as this works the same and carefully smear some in the crotch area of the underwear. You won’t need much so use sparingly. You don’t want to smear it on to heavily as if it is too greasy or thick the victim will see it, then your time would have been wasted. The victim will not notice it at first but during the day or night they will begin to sweat a little. As soon as the moisture starts to increase the burning will also start and it won’t be a very comfortable experience for the wearer. Payback accomplished.

Payback Idea #2

Another old but good classic is to put itching powder or in their underwear. Almost everyone knows this prank but it is still an awful thing to do to someone. Itching powder is not very nice so be careful not to get it on yourself, or you will be itching like your victim. If you are having problems obtaining itching powder then just type it in Google and hit the search button you will find plenty to choose from.

Payback Idea #3

A variation on #2, but this time you use the stinging power of a fresh chilli. Carefully slice the chilli pepper lengthways and remove the seeds. Next, rub the exposed flesh of the chilli pepper into the crotch area of their underwear and leave to dry back in the drawer. Be careful with chilli peppers though and make sure you wash your hands thoroughly before touching yourself or you will be in just as much pain as your ex!

Payback Idea #4

Messing with a condom is quiet a nasty thing to do to somebody but I am sure some people really do deserve it. Find you’re ex boyfriend’s condom, and now get yourself a syringe for this prank. Now its time for the fun part, fill the syringe with the sports cream or itching powder, you choose.

Do not overdo it only use a little or your ex will see it. Place the needle into the sealed condom package and push a small amount of it in. If you also what to get the victims partner inject both sides of the condom. Now replace the condom where you found it.

Payback Idea #5

You can also inflict the same revenge with hot sauce.Tabascohot sauce is some of the hottest hot sauce I have ever tasted. A quick note – tabasco is not the hottest sauce you can buy, there are many hotter but if you go too hot you will probably end up burning yourself, so my advice is don’t go overboard.

The way I discovered this prank was down to some close friends of mine. Basically they were having an afternoon cooking session, then got a bit carried away and decided to have sex. They described the pain as excruciating and it wouldn’t stop burning even after showering. This prank is pure payback.

Revenge Letters – Ideas For Revenge

I’ve just finished creating a video based on the latest newsletter from the team at Get Revenge On Your Ex

Their latest newsletter was all about sending revenge letters and as I’ve got far too much time on my hands I decided to put their newsletter to video:

Obviously, all the ideas are theirs, but I did ask them for permission before doing it….

…oh, and they asked that I put this bit in my post:

If you are looking to get revenge, then visit and our sister site

… there you go guys! All done :-)


Revenge In The News (source: BBC)

October 25, 2011 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

Testicle bite woman Maria Topp faces jail for Newcastle boyfriend attack


A mother of four who admitted biting her boyfriend’s testicles during a drunken row has been warned she is facing jail.

Maria Topp, 44, a from Gateshead, told Newcastle Crown Court she could not remember attacking Martin Douglas at his Newcastle flat on 18 February.

Mr Douglas, a 45-year-old DJ, needed 19 stitches to a wound to his scrotum.

Topp, of Aycliffe Place, Wrekenton, admitted causing grievous bodily harm and will be sentenced on 11 November.

Recorder Robin Mairs warned Topp: “All options are open and that will include locking you up.”

The hearing was told how Topp bit Mr Douglas’s testicles at his flat in Waterloo Street during the early hours of 18 February.

Caroline Goodwin, defending, told a previous hearing: “The defendant was on her back with the victim straddling her.”

‘Heavily in drink’

Mr Douglas was so traumatised by his injuries that emergency services staff struggled to understand him when he dialled 999.

Recorder Mairs told the court: “The two had been in a relationship for five years by the time of this offence. There had been difficulties and turbulence in the past.

“They had split up numerous times, getting back together numerous times. On the day in question, there is no doubt they were very heavily in drink.

“There is an argument, a brawl begins during which Mrs Topp admits she unlawfully bit the complainant’s scrotum.”

Topp had denied causing grievous bodily harm (GBH) with intent on the basis there was violence used on both sides, but admitted the lesser charge of causing GBH.

Gavin Doig, prosecuting, said: “The injured party suffered a number of injuries, but particularly a very serious wound to the scrotum.

“The Crown’s contention has always been that that was caused by a bite – the defence’s contention was that it was caused by her hands.

“The plea is on the basis she did indeed cause that injury with her teeth.”



Revenge Using Voodoo

October 25, 2011 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

I have just found this article on and have, with their permission, copied it here.

This site advertises a voodoo spell service called which is for High Priest Jean Emmanuel.

The guys at GROYE have been using and recommending Jean Emmanuel for nearly a year now and the results are actually quite scary!!!

However, not all spells have to be bad as this testimonial from a lady in Washington, US called Sandrine recounts:

I just want to share my voodoo spell experience with everyone as it’s been for more effective than I thought possible.

Just a quick background – I met this man (Gary) through an online dating site and I honestly felt that I had met my soul mate. Everything was perfect and during the 4 months of our relationship every single day I was sent a loving text or other sentiment.

Then, one day, I returned home from work to a note stuck to the door. Gary had left me!

No explanation or anything at all – he just said that he was sorry but he didn’t want to be with me anymore.

To say I was crestfallen is an understatement – I stopped eating and became seriously malnourished.

I loved this man like no other and if I am honest with myself, I do still love him for the wonderful time we had together.

In my darkest moment I ordered a voodoo spell from High Priest Jean Emmanuel (he advertises on this site). I explained my story to Jean Emmanuel and he was very understanding and supportive.

The spell that was cast for me centered around exposing Gary’s true character to his circle of influence (friends, family, work colleagues). I really did not want any physical harm to come to him but I just wanted to make sure that he could not hurt others in the same way that he has hurt me.

It’s been 5 weeks since Jean Emmanuel cast the spell for me and I am amazed at the results.

Although I have not heard from Gary directly, we do have several acquaitances in common and I have found out that his family have uncovered a number of lies that he’s been living and they have effectively outed him as a family member.

Even his precious son has told him never to contact him again!

Better than this though, is that he has been fired from work because of a mistake he’d made which cost the company lots of money to fix. Because Gary works in a very small industry his reputation has been ruined and so no-one will employ him because of his mistake.

From what our mutual acquaintancies have been saying he is now seriously depressed and keeps crying.

I’m not a vengeful person, but I loved this man like no other and he made me suffer in ways that I shudder to remember.

Without High Priest Jean Emmanuel’s support and spell casting I honestly don’t believe that I would be at peace with my failed relationship with Gary.

I whole heartedly recommend this service.

From my observation and reading about other people’s voodoo experiences it does appear that Hollywood sensationalises the true powers of voodoo and other genuine spells.

I have actually contacted High Priest Jean Emmanuel and asked him whether I could interview him for this site. I will let you all know what he says.

Put Your Ex On The Map

October 20, 2011 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

Want to know where somone’s ex is?

Well, the guys at get revenge on your ex have done just that.

As a member of their site (which is free), you can add your ex to their map for free.

If you are not a member, then you can only see the location of  other  people’s exes on the Revenge Map.

As a member, you also get to know a bit about that particular ex and I have it on good authority that those guys at GROYE will be expanding the functionality of this map in the not too distant future.

I’m sure that the clever folks at Google never envisaged their ground breaking mapping toolkit would ever be used in this way, but who cares!

As long as those who deserve it get named and shamed, what possible harm could their be?

If you’ve not had a quick peek yet, then I strongly recommend that you pop along now…you never know, your neighbour might be someone’s ex!


Make Money From Your Ex

October 20, 2011 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

During any breakup, money is always a topic that rears it’s ugly head.

Maybe it’s just the dividing up of joint assets or, as in increasingly common these days, the ex has stolen money or mismanaged joint finances to the extreme!

Perhaps it’s a case of the ex has “landed on their feet” financially, while the aggrieved party is left with all the bills or facing a life of financial insecurity.

And it’s this particular situation that the team at Get Revenge On Your Ex have started to address.

They are developing a way of making your ex pay, financially and possibly for the rest of their lives, without them ever finding out!

This really is a very ingenious revenge tactic and if these guy’s can pull it off, then they will truly deserve the title of Revenge Experts! (even if it is only bestowed upon them by me :-) )

The logic of what they are doing works like this:

  • You, as the aggrieved party, add your ex’s email address to GROYE’s database, along with all the other email addresses of people who you feel “should pay” for their crimes against you
  • Then, these people will be emailed various online offers – not the spam kind such as viagra, but genuine topical and relevant offers and discount codes for a whole host of products…such as Amazon’s kindle
  • Behind these offers will be special tracking codes that allows you (as a GROYE member) to earn sales commission

Utter geniusness!!! (ok, so that’s not a word, but it should be!!!)