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We Are Not Advocating This…But It Sure Is Funny

December 13, 2012 by  
Filed under Revenge On Ex

As the title of this article says we are definitely not advocating this as it does quite noticeably involve wasting police time and there are a plenty of better things that the boys in blue could be doing than dealing unwittingly helping you deal with your revenge plans, but by the same token, when it is this funny it doesn’t mean that we can’t share this tale with you. We are in England this week for the classic tale of boy meets girl…with the usual lack of a fairytale ending…

Young love. It’s so beautifully predictable isn’t it. In this instance a young fella met and fell in love with a girl of about the same age. As so often is the case with these cases you tend to find that now matter how passionate and promising the young love affair is it ended in disaster. Phil’s beautiful young lady cheated on him about 10 months in and the relationship immediately soured and went south. They split up shortly after and a hurt and wounded Phil immediately started plotting his revenge.

As with all stories of vengeance he set about thinking about what he knew about his ex and what would hurt her most. As with a lot of young people exploring their sexuality for the first time they had experimented quite a bit and, over the course of their love affair had accumulated a fairly sizable collection of sex toys and aids designed to stimulate and improve their love making.

As is usually the case, once the relationship had finished these stayed in the hands of the girl, in this instance, securely stashed and hidden from her mother in a box under her bed.

Now, about a fortnight after the breakup on a Saturday morning the girl’s mother was woken up at 7am by a number of uniformed officers with a search warrant to search the house. They marched straight upstairs and kicked the girl straight out of bed.

With her mother stood in the doorway, a look of confusion on her face the lead officer immediately reached under her bed and pulled out a box. “You’re in trouble now young lady” he said before triumphantly reaching into the box and pulling out…and ENORMOUS dildo with the name ‘EXCALIBUR’ printed down the side.

So what exactly had Phil done? Well. Knowing he embarrassment that it would cause for his ex to have her sex life laid bare, by the police in the front of her mother he had made an anonymous phonecall to give the police a tipoff that his ex was dealing drugs and she kept her stash in a box under the bed.

Obviously, the police were always going to act on such information so not only was he going to cause huge confusion with the initial arrival of the police, there was also going to be a very tangible atmosphere long after the policemen had left as a result of the stark nature that his ex’s teenage sex life had been laid bare in front of her. Sex isn’t exactly a topic that anyone particular enjoys discussing with their parents, even on their own terms, so when it is forced on you it is bound to cause an atmosphere!

So there you have it, a pretty complete story of revenge!

As we said, we obviously don’t condone using the emergency services like this, but when it is that amusing and involves policemen grabbing a giant dildo, we can’t help ourselves!

Festive Revenge Against Your Boss

December 13, 2012 by  
Filed under Get Revenge At Work, Get Revenge On Boss

A Story That Has Become Our Festive Inspiration…

OK, we have always said that we love receiving your stories and this is the absolute proof. We like to think that we have a pretty comprehensive handle on all things revenge related but every now and then you guys raise the bar for us and inspire us to add something to our range. This is no different. It is the perfect way of taking the Christmas spirit and turning it on it’s head to completely twist your victim’s mood and take them from the festive lights right down into the doldrums.

We were contacted by someone who wanted to remain anonymous, which in many ways is perfect because don’t forget we use a computer generated system to ensure that your identity remains safe for all our revenge products (unless you really want them to know who it is of course!) He had done something new and ingenious and it was regarding that most seasonal of items…the Christmas tree.

Now, Christmas trees in general seem great initially when they are all green and vibrant, but by the middle of January they generally look more than a little bit sad and depressed. We are told that it is important to be green so quite often people will go the extra mile to be eco-friendly in this day and age, especially at Christmas when there is all that good will to be chucked about. Things that normally would just go in the rubbish suddenly get recycled and this gave our mysterious informant an idea.

He had been fired literally days before Christmas. Not only had he been fired, he had been fired because he had been looking after a customer! Apparently, by working hard to save a customer who had a complaint, he had saved them ‘TOO MUCH MONEY’ and as a result he had to be let go. This seemed odd, seeing as they would have lost a lot more money if the customer had gone but the manager, who had been making our friend’s life hell for a while had told him to pack up his desk and ‘get the f*** out’.

So off home our inspiration went and logged onto Craig’s List to take advantage of the good will in the area. He advertised his old boss’s home address as a place to drop off Christmas trees for a ‘community compost drive’. The response was unbelievable and there was great pleasure to be had in driving past his old manager’s home, to see the front garden completely littered with deceased pine trees.

So why is this so great? Well, first of all, it jumps up and down on that giddy eagerness and freshness of a New Year. Secondly, there is the frustration that comes from being the victim of a prank from a completely unknown source. Thirdly, there is the cost. The manager now had about fifty Christmas trees to get rid of and that is a pretty large unexpected cost to come at a time that the purse strings tend to be a little bit tight anyway after festive spending.

We have taken inspiration from this story and will now do the same service for you, putting the required information up on Gumtree/Craig’s List/Community Notice Boards for the relevant area with the guarantee that it can’t be traced back to you. Get in touch today to take advantage of this great festive idea to satisfy your need for revenge.

Revenge For Christmas 2012

December 13, 2012 by  
Filed under General Revenge, Revenge Products

Those guys at Get Revenge On Your Ex have done it again, with this year’s Christmas specials.

Here’s their latest newsletter….enjoy!

 

When most people think of Christmas it is a happy time, a time to celebrate with friends and loved ones, but what if the one who had hoped to spend Christmas with has actually ended up hurting you just before the festivities start. Why should they be able to have a great time with their new squeeze when you are left to agonise over what could have been? The good news is that our team have got everything together to make sure that if you are feeling the urge to even the scores in the run up to December 25th we have the perfect vengeance gifts, perfectly suited for every taste and every budget.

Time Released Festive Texts

Get their day off to a poor start with a time released SMS from our anonymous server. All your have to do is type out your message and system will send it to the victim’s phone with the guarantee that it can’t be traced back to you. You can even set the time so if you want to do something early in the morning when they are opening their presents or around lunchtime to put a dampener on things we have just the service for you.

A Christmas Kick From Our Unique Cards Range

If you want something jolly with Santa on it or kids playing in the snow you should look elsewhere. This is the most offensive and repulsive collection of cards on the internet. It is completely unique. Imagine the anticipation of opening an envelope shattered when it is opened as a card which tells your chosen victim exactly what you really think.

The Voodoo Doll

Sometimes revenge can be quite sophisticated, but the on other occasions, just plain scared is just as good. Our voodoo dolls are the perfect match for our cards, a great double hit. No sooner have they got over the shock of their card, than again they are opening a beautiful present to find a Voodoo doll, laced with an authentic curse performed by a highly respected High Priest. Not only will it alarm them initially, the curse, and the thought of it will dog them for the rest of the year…

Nuisance Calls

When you are trying to relax with friends and family the last thing you want is repeated phone calls, shattering the calm. The worst thing is, it’s Christmas, you have to answer the call in case it is family or friends ringing round to celebrate. You can’t unplug the phone for the same reason so your victim will just have to shoulder the stress of our incessant ringing at a time that you set.

The Nasty Packages…

OK…for most people this would be considered a bit too much…but this IS your ex we are talking about. You wouldn’t be here if they hadn’t done something to deserve the very best (or worst depending on how you look at it) treatment. Whether you want to make them feel queasy at dinner with ‘used’ condom or our realistic fake Dog Shit, or if you just want to ruin their new relationship by sending some sexy underwear with a naughty note we have just the things for you…

 

Christmas is only just around the corner, so I don’t recommend that you hang around…you’ve only got a few days left to completely and utterly ruin your ex’s Christmas, while you remain full of festive cheer!